“I don’t know!” he growls, more angry with himself than with Alec, though all those upsetting questions he keeps asking aren’t helping, either. Koujaku doesn’t really want to keep a tally of his sins—they weigh on him heavily enough. And now he’s reliving that day to satisfy some guy’s curiosity because of…what? Is this Alec’s own way of taking revenge? It doesn’t make much sense to him.

“If my life made a hell of a lot more sense I wouldn’t be here, trying to make up for something…” Something he couldn’t help? He shakes his head, and sighs. “Look, I don’t want to make this about anyone else we have or haven’t offed. Let’s keep it to just you and me.”