Happy little day, Jimmy went away

[firesealed]

Who: Sol Badguy (firesealed) and Ky Kiske (coconuts)
Universe: Ariel, of sorts
What: Sol, Ky, and the aftermath of having slept together

Of course Sol feels guilty about what he’d done with Ky. He hadn’t exactly been planning on it, and he was pretty sure he knew better. It had all just been so easy, his blood pumping so easily and even when he thinks back about it he’s been as much aroused by the memory as he feels bad about it.

Still, he knows it has to be eating Ky up alive, because the way he figures it the kid was a virgin, and certainly wouldn’t have imagined doing something with another man, with Sol even less.

On the other hand, Sol’s not going to be the one to have that conversation. He’s just going to hang out near Ky’s apartment, so that when the kid does decide he wants to talk, Sol’ll be there. He owed him that much, at least.

Comments

[coconuts]

Sol's assumption is not wrong.

Ky's guilt, shame, and anger at himself has only dragged him down after their encounter. The weight of it prevents him from investigating this city thoroughly, even though it should be his top priority. Every business sign or building decor he passes reminds him of sex. The reminder, in turn, brings back the same thoughts about that day. Ky can't move past it, no matter how hard he tries.

He wants to blame his actions on the city's influence, but he knows it would do little as comfort. In the end, it was his own weakness that caved into temptation.

And, speak of the devil, there was Sol. Ky stops in his tracks, surprised. He is just returning from a brief walk outside, a vain attempt to straighten himself out instead of trapping himself in his assigned apartment. The walk was supposed to be short and quick, hence his loose hair and casual clothing. He didn't expect to see anyone important today.

"Sol." It's amazing how his voice never wavers, despite his turmoil. He wonders if he looks as burdened as he feels.

[firesealed]

Sol registers surprise when he spots Ky, because he hadn’t been aware the kid was even capable of relaxing, and certainly not of looking that way. He’d really thought that in this place, Ky’s version of relaxing would be a lot like putting on three more layers to wear. Not that he’s immodest now, even if Sol has to fight the urge to sweep his gaze over Ky, to remember the sight of his skin.

It’s not appropriate, and Sol knows it, and it’s good that he’s had so much practice hiding his reactions.

It still leaves him unsure. He can’t ignore Ky’s comment, and he also can’t ignore that despite the slight enticement of the memory, Ky looks terrible, and Sol doesn’t want him to look so bad. He doesn’t want to think that he’s responsible for this. But he assumes that Ky would blame him, should, because Sol’s the one who should really know better, who’s generally better at actually controlling himself.

“Kid.” It’s an automatic response, comes out without Sol thinking better of it, but maybe it’s better that way. Maybe Ky will want to pretend that nothing actually happened. Sol will let him, if he does.

[coconuts]

Ky can't resist responding. "Am I still such a child to you?" he asks, somewhat exasperated and not really expecting an answer. After all these years of knowing each other, and after what they'd done—

He visibly winces and cuts that thought short. Even if it's been on his mind, the memory seems stronger with Sol here. Ky could keep it at a distance when he was alone, but Sol only brings it to the foreground. Any small hope that he would be able to shove it aside until it faded into nothing is destroyed.

Which only supports the one option he dreads most: To confront his actions head-on. He knows the way to do it. He's familiar enough with the practice, thanks to his faith. He's done it plenty of times. To feel sorrow and regret, to confess, and to make amends. But something is different this time. He feels all the regret for betraying his family, but for the action itself? Looking at Sol now, he feels neither hate nor disgust.

It scares him. What kind of person has he become?

"Is there something you need?" He forces himself to ask. Pushing past his torrent of thoughts, before he becomes lost in them.

[firesealed]

Sol ignores the comment, because he was always going to, because he doesn’t know what to say. Of course he’d seen plenty of evidence that Ky had grown up, and he certainly wouldn’t be able to actually reconcile his own attraction to him if that opinion hadn’t changed. On the other hand, pretty much everyone is a kid, compared to Sol…

He still blinks at Ky when he asks his second question, because the first one had been obvious and easily enough avoided, but the second is something else, could be even more complicated.

So there’s only one real response.

“Huh?”

Whatever it is, it isn’t something he could ask of Ky, that’s clear. However he might want things between them to be…better, some sort of easy atmosphere where they can watch each other’s backs, it’s strongly his fault that it’s not.

[coconuts]

It may be the only real response, but it's the most annoying one to Ky.

"Don't pretend you didn't hear me!" He says through gritted teeth. Despite his anger, the rush of irritation at the one and only Sol Badguy is a welcome, familiar feeling. It's certainly better than wallowing in pointless, mental loops. Far more productive than sitting alone, trying to straighten out his issues in heavy silence.

It's reminiscent of his meeting with Sol shortly after becoming king. After spending so much time wallowing, worrying, praying, and thinking about his situation and his child's future, it was Sol's presence that brought him out of that stupor. It took that familiar anger to provide the burst of motivation to take action.

Ky recognized that feeling now and latched onto it, using it to give him the will to push through his concerns and take a step forward to confronting the issue.

"If you're here for a reason, then let's talk inside." He continues, shoving past Sol so he can unlock and open the apartment door. "It isn't appropriate for us to stand and discuss anything out here."

And he can punch Sol without getting caught (if he's angry enough), which may or may not be the main reason to move inside.