birdwithoutasong | I accept that it's time for a change

They refuse to let him come in to work, that day. Tell him no, that he should stay home and rest because he never takes a break and things have been slow. They won't even let him go in to grab paperwork! Being that he just isn't any good at doing nothing all day, he opts to wander around the city, leaving the uniform at home in favour of something simple and civilian. And then you factor in the weather. He can't even gather the energy to practice somewhere. And wandering the city can only last so long before the heat gets to him and he has to step inside the restaurant he's passing.

Water, a lighter-flavoured tea, and something simple to eat that won't disagree with the tea--he can't very well just take advantage of the cooler temperature indoors and not order anything. In the lull after doing so, Ky takes the time to take stock of his surroundings; it's a habit, and one he isn't exactly bothered by.

Until he spots Sol.

His back straightens and his hand stills near his elbow where it's been rolling up his sleeve, the other already having accomplished that task. And of course, it's not something he can just leave alone, Sol being there. But... He can't very well make a scene in a restaurant, either. Ky distracts himself instead with the arrival of his tea and water, asking for the bill pre-emptively in the event he needs to leave quickly.

Sol sees the kid when he comes in, though the lack of a uniform earns a little uptick of his eyebrow before Sol leaves it be for the moment. He hadn't thought Ky knew how to relax, although it becomes apparent that he's managing something of the sort, before he spots Sol. Sol isn't specifically looking at the kid when it happens -- he has his food in front of him, after all, and he's still making progress on the beer, but he notices it when he looks up again, and this time he keeps his eyes on the kid for long enough for Ky to look up again.

There's a slight smirk on Sol's lips, he isn't really looking to start something but something always seems to be started when it's him and the kid, and he won't say he's opposed to it.

Though maybe it would've been better for the kid to stay relaxed. Not really Sol's problem, he'd been the one already here when Ky decided to venture in in the first place.

Really, Ky doesn't know how to relax. He knows how to calm himself to the point of being settled, but not... Not actually relaxing. The concept is just foreign practice to him, though he supposes as a child he must have done something of the sort. Regardless, it's more of the fact that he's just been shunted out of his own office than it being his own choice. And when he catches Sol's eyes on him, that expression, he can feel his hackles rise.

He isn't on duty, just sitting down to eat somewhere not at home or in his office, out of the heat and humidity. He'll keep his attention on what's directly in front of him--his meal, not Sol.

...Although all sense of that calm is now vanished since it's an effort to keep down old habits of confronting Sol immediately before he disappears again. What makes it worse is that he isn't geared for a physical confrontation, dressed the way he is.

Sol doesn't have any immediate plans to disappear. Sure, he'll probably check out of the city before too long, but as quickly as he shovels food in he's not doing it for Ky's sake, and he might need another dish before he's full. Still, it's tempting to go over and say something to the kid, although Sol can't for the life of him think of anything that's necessary to say.

So perhaps he'd do a little teasing, but it's not such a pressing need that he has to do such that he can't let Ky get a little food in him first. Not when the kid could clearly use it, and would do better focusing on that than the tea he drank. Tea was an adequate substitute for water, but only food was an adequate substitute for food.

Good that they aren't immediate! But even still, Ky occasionally glanced up from his tea and the food he'd ordered once brought out, but for the most part still tried to keep his attention not on Sol. If he'd been approached, all that effort would be for naught and then what? Fortunate that he wasn't, considering. The tea at least helped to settle him a bit, and eating a little further.

During one of the intermittent deviations in his attention's target, he bothered to wonder how anyone could eat the way Sol did. Thoughts drifted back to the war, trying to remember if Sol'd eaten like that during those snatched up opportunities to eat. And then he was in the restaurant again, just because thinking too long on those times, while nice for their clear-cut right-and-wong, were still truly unpleasant memories.

...And he'd largely not appreciate being teased as something on Sol's list of priorities, if he knew about it!

After a silent prayer, eating, and finishing his tea, Ky quietly stood (having paid earlier made this much easier) and strode with some degree of purpose to just as quietly claim a seat by Sol. Saying nothing yet, because what could he say? Well. At least he didn't think he had anything that could earn more than a noncommittal grunt or something.

"It's strange to find you somewhere so mundane." Well, he tried.

Edited 2012-11-18 04:08 (UTC)

"Still a person," Sol said, because for all that he wasn't fully he seemed to be more easily recognized as human than Ky, and he seemed to pay more attention to human needs than the kid. Sol, at least, didn't go out of his way to make people's hopes ride on him, didn't go out of his way to try to seem anything more than he was. He knew that taking a meal wouldn't make the world collapse in his absence. They'd really done Ky a disservice, in the war, justified all of his fears about not being replaceable. There hadn't really been a lot of other options, though, not at that point.

Sol stuffed a forkful of food into his mouth and chewed obnoxiously -- as much as chewing could be obnoxious, but it was Ky, so Sol was sure it was -- for a moment, before he looked over at Ky, as if to say 'Well'. Did the kid really have nothing better to do?

"At times, that's difficult to remember." Others hadn't seen Sol on the battlefield. And also the indifference and detachment with which Sol conducted himself at times led Ky to wonder if the man truly possessed any sort of emotional centre--something vital to humanity. And Ky hadn't "gone out of his way" to "make" anyone do anything; he'd simply... done it. Simply taken the duty given to him and performed it to the best of his ability, even when it should have made him bend or break. He couldn't just stop, not when so much was riding on the Order's success against the Gears. If he'd stopped to eat or sleep more often than he had, there had been too many "what if's" in his young mind at the time. Ky didn't think anyone had really done anything wrong; they'd just found someone they wanted desperately to be able to rely on, and he'd done his absolute best to make sure that their hopes could be seen through.

And his own, perhaps, to see a day without the war raging around him. A day where everyone could smile.

And chewing could be terribly obnoxious when done just the right way, but that most often required manners being a thing good and forgotten. With that look, however, Ky found he had very little else to say. He wasn't one for small talk, and that hardly seemed appropriate to do with Sol.

A body didn't stop needing things just because the world had turned to shit, and if Ky wanted to still be there when the world needed him in another five years he should take a little more care. Not that it was Sol's place to say anything about it -- or that he even spent very much time thinking about it -- but that much'd been apparent even during the war, and didn't seem to have gotten any better sense.

Which might be part of why Sol shoves the quarter of his meal still on his plate towards Ky without anything by way of commentary, though he does nod to the waitress to bring him another dish.

They didn't need to say anything -- certainly not anything that would count as small talk -- but Sol would like it if Ky did something instead of just hanging out around him, expecting something from Sol, even if the kid himself wouldn't say what he was expecting.

Well, he'd done alright for himself the last time, he'd say. Even if the truth of the matter was he really hadn't; Ky didn't see it that way because he couldn't. But he wasn't wholly negligent of himself, acknowledged that he probably should have eaten more, slept more, but he'd wanted to be prepared. And it had been a challenge to keep food down at times, and more of one to sleep. Now he had a schedule, and he did eat and sleep far better than he had out on the front lines. Would that please Sol to hear? That he actually managed a whole six or seven hours of sleep (roughly; depended if he woke up during the night)? That he ate three times a day and took tea in the afternoon (roughly; depended if he was onto something)?

...Ky wasn't sure exactly the meaning of the gesture, here; no doubt it showed. After an awkward moment of examining the situation from no fewer than three vantage points, Ky opted to pick at the food a bit.

"And why do I have this, now?" He really wasn't a child, Sol. He didn't need someone else feeding ~~his scrawny ass~~ him. At least this gave him a better starting point so long as Sol didn't just shut him down.

"T'eat." Really, Ky. Was the presence of a plate of food that bewildering to the kid? Not that Sol thought that was actually the source of his confusion, but it was the easiest of the answers that he could give.

Plus, maybe eating would satisfy whatever need Ky had felt to come over into Sol's space. Sol certainly didn't want to hear about Ky's scheduling of his life into narrow little boxes, and he didn't need to. Not when he could just look at the kid to see that he could use to beef up a little. Particularly if he wanted to be able to run himself as hard as he did.

Sol took a deep gulp of his beer, trying to take advantage of the situation before Ky found something else to say.

"So you've taken up charity work." Dry, flat; Ky wasn't much sure he could piece together why Sol would bother with this, so the sarcasm felt appropriate. It was less the food, after all, and more the act. But Sol wouldn't be the first person to tell him he needed to eat more, and he supposed that in a way this was just Sol trying to delay the inevitable--the inevitable being Ky properly antagonizing Sol, or at least attempting to do so for the sake of some sort of reaction.

He shifted position some, leaning weight on his elbow while continuing to pick for a moment longer. Really, this was Sol's fault. It didn't take much from the man to antagonize Ky, and then here he was, ignoring the fact after he'd done so successfully! If Ky had been younger, he might have flicked a forkful of food at Sol. Even now, he might have derived some kind of satisfaction from it; particularly if it earned some kind of response beyond a flat look and monosyllables.

...But fine, he'll eat it. Or attempt to.

Charity work was an odd phrase to use for giving the kid something to focus on instead of Sol, and Sol certainly wouldn't have thought of it in that way. Ky had enough money to feed himself sufficiently, almost certainly, he simply chose not to. It might be closer to mothering the kid, if Sol were inclined to do anything more than shove a plate of food towards him when he'd already joined Sol at his table.

Really, it was just a simple little decision, no need to make something of it. And Sol was going to make an effort not to let it become a thing, tucking into his own food as soon as the plate was brought out.

Eating surely precluded talking, right?

He fed himself fine, managed his life fine, crossed every T and dotted every I. He just didn't overdo it, and he hadn't been hungry; food and heat went terribly together. It had been more of a joke, though Ky's sense of humour often slipped past others. As dry as it was, it had long since stopped surprising him when people missed it. Humour wasn't his forte and he knew it. Open kindness wasn't exactly Sol's, either, and it all left Ky skeptical. Then again, finding a means to avoid Ky's questioning or commentary was Sol's habit.

Rude, Sol.

"Is it bounty or information that brings you to France?" Because that might partially be out of spite, talking now. If bounty, it probably wasn't one the IPF put out; maybe something independent or local that led out this way. If bounty at all, of course. "I don't recall seeing any that would have caught your attention."

In Sol's opinion pressing him on his reasons for being in the country when all he'd been doing was enjoying a silent meal by himself was much more rude than most of what he'd done.

Sol shrugged, and kept focusing on eating, with a grunt the only sort of acknowledgment that he thought Ky's question deserved. Not his fault taht Ky asked questions that he knew Sol would simply refuse to answer. Sometimes he could avoid answering Ky's pressing on a subject simply by not answering it, and he had some hope that this would be one of those times.

Certainly Sol's not accountable in any way to Ky, stopped having him as a commanding officer long ago. Ky has no authority from which to demand an answer from Sol.

He wasn't demanding, it was... Honestly, it was more like an attempt at conversation--evidently a poor one, given the response. Ky couldn't handle not being occupied in some manner, didn't know how to not be caught up in doing something or other. In that, though, he smirked in a sort of flat manner, shaking his head. Unsurprising.

"Where is the point in asking." Not a question, a statement. Well-aware of the fact that if Sol didn't want to answer, he wouldn't, Ky let the question go for the moment. He still wanted to know, but there was no chance for now. "If it's a bounty we've put out, try not to unsettle the young man at the desk too much; we've had some problems, lately." Meaning Ky'd had to physically remove people from the premises. Just because Sol wouldn't answer didn't mean Ky couldn't continue on the subject.

Maybe the problem was trying to have a conversation with Sol at all, or assuming just because they were sitting together there had to also be words exchanged. Or maybe it was Sol's fault for not having thought this through enough and having done anything at all to encourage Ky to stay once he'd joined him. Still, the kid needed to eat something more than what he'd ordered, and for them both eating out to be priority over talking. Ky didn't need to make conversation when he was sitting by himself, and Sol was even less inclined to it than the open air.

Which didn't appear to be making any real difference, Ky apparently finding it so important that they talk about something that he was willing to ignore the fact that Sol didn't have any interest in it. "I'll make sure to leave the severed head out back." A joke, certainly, and likely one that Ky wouldn't take very well, which was admittedly at least half of the point.

It was too awkward to sit in silence, for one, and he really didn't need to eat anything more than he already had. Which just had this rolling back around to the quip about charity work. Really, that whole "flicking a forkful of food at Sol" idea earlier just kept coming back at this point. Not young enough to get away with it even if he wanted to do it, though.

At first, Ky met the statement with a wary expression, not entirely sure whether it was something to take seriously or not. After a moment of internal rationalization, he turned back to the food that'd been set in front of him. His expression turned to a flat sort of wry, and Ky spoke without facing Sol.

"I'm sure he'd appreciate that." Because despite what most people thought, sometimes Ky actually picked up on bad humour; all things considered, it's not something Sol'd announce if he meant it. "Though I should hope it's not a human bounty; severed heads are difficult to interrogate."

Flicking food was such an immature thing to do, and it was certain that Sol wouldn't react in any way that Ky wanted him to. Might just laugh it off, certainly the idea didn't fit the image of Ky that the kid was so very careful to cultivate. So careful to live too, and certainly flicking food for the fun of it wouldn't occur to him.

Sol watched Ky's expression with a lazy sort of interest, bemused at least by seeing how he reacted. Better than expected, at least, and while Sol didn't bother with feeling amused or pleased he did note it with a certain level of satisfaction.

Not that it demanded any sort of response. He cracked a joke, Ky took it well, and there was still food to be eaten. Maybe Ky would be able to focus on that now that they'd had some sort of a conversation.

Maybe the immaturity was the very reason Ky should pull something like that. He wouldn't expect much from Sol in terms of reaction; he'd just be presenting an entirely different manner of attack, and that would be good enough. Not to mention, five years of frustrations. But there was the matter of Ky's self-image... He'd had to be careful with that, forming it, do all he could to make sure people had seen him for what he did instead of his age. It was easier to feel at ease with your commanding officer than it was a teenager. He'd continued the upkeep on that as a matter of logic and course; just because he'd lost rank and taken up a civilian occupation (as civilian as the IPF really was) didn't mean he'd let his standards slip. Sol always could bring out the petulant child in him, though. He had rather a knack for it.

But yes, some level of exchange achieved, Ky felt that bizarre sort of awkward lift to some degree. In the Order, it had been easy to go without interacting with Sol in the same room, in the same camp. Now, it was strange. Frequency was probably what it boiled down to; frequency and the nature of it. Routine versus rarity. Ky ate in silence, occasionally just pushing food around. What was Sol's thing with feeding him, though? He couldn't quite get his head around it.

Actually, he could think of two others who kept trying to feed him... He'd end up too caught up in work to think about breaking for a meal or... three. Sometimes. It just didn't line up that Sol would do this for the same reason.

...More weight to the "flick food at him" argument. No. No, he was an adult. Maybe if this wasn't a public place...

Sol'd make the point that no one really felt at ease with Ky either way, that the boy clearly wasn't even at ease with himself and that people tended to pick up on that sort of thing. He wasn't here to make points, though, and certainly not to point out to Ky that what he was doing was stupid. No amount of devotion to duty would change a kid from being a kid, even if he forced himself to stay serious and took on responsibility for what the world might become in the aftermath of what he'd already accomplished. If Sol brought out the child in Ky, that was just because Ky wasn't as mature as he wanted to be. Which wasn't even a little bit Sol's problem. Dressing up in adult clothes just made it more obvious how small children were, and not giving himself any time to live made it more obvious that Ky didn't know how to.

Sol decided just once to give Ky some food -- at least half as an attempt to cut off any attempts at conversation or questions that Sol wasn't in the mood to answer -- and Ky had to make a big deal out of it. Wasn't worth the bother for the future, certainly, so it was hardly a "thing" about feeding him. A one-off event. Certainly not worth making any parallels with anyone else who might be trying to feed Ky. Although the fact that he hadn't been the only one to try probably meant Ky should just do a better job of feeding himself.

As for the issue of this being a public place, well, Sol could fix that. Could fix the problem that Ky might ask him a question as well, since he was done with his food, and that meant leaving. Presumably leaving Ky behind, because the don't really have any business with each other. He swallowed the last of his beer, tossed some money down onto the table, and stood.

Being told that, Ky'd probably find it comedic. To think that all his efforts were ever in vain, that no matter what he did, few would see past his age, would see past a mask constructed so carefully as to have forgotten what laid beneath it. He'd taken pains to hide his age so that he could be better received on the battlefield, because it was important to him that he would be. He couldn't lead with people doubting him at every turn, and he'd been sure that it had worked. And now? Now he'd come to be so at ease with who he'd been, defined by duty and responsibility, that it was all second-nature. It was nature, period. To have that stripped away from him would render him as he was before he joined the Order, lost and very much alone with little more than too-loud and too-vivid emotions to point him in any direction.

Was it really a surprise that Ky'd make some sort of deal out of being fed by someone he was (unfortunately) sure wanted little to nothing to do with him? And, well, it was really more of a sarcastic line of thought that happened to amuse him terribly than it was a particularly big deal. Amusement that Sol'd opt for that as his method of keeping Ky out of his hair (whether or not it made sense given location was really beside the point).

Sol could easily fix location and avoid any further questions, but there were other things that could interrupt those efforts as well. Like an unfortunately placed fork and subsequent series of movements that meant for one of Ky's earlier thoughts to be given better form than he'd really intended, considering that he'd just completely accidentally launched a bit of something right at Sol's face as he rose from his seat.

Thankfully for everyone in the restaurant, the food hit Sol on the cheek, instead of getting blasted with flame in order to keep it from arriving. Sol made a snorting noise and reached up to scrape it off with the heel of his hand, then to lick off as much as he can get with a single go.

Ky got a flat, unimpressed look, then Sol went back to standing up.

"Got better things't'do than get tossed out 'cause'a food fight," he said, still fully intending to leaving. The attack of food was very immature, and not what he would have expected from the uptight little blond, but Ky was still a kid underneath all that posturing, even if he didn't realize it himself. If he wanted to throw a little food... there were some circumstances where Sol might've encouraged it, but not when it was being thrown at him.

Not when he himself wasn't twelve. (Kid should get himself some friends he could do a food fight with, but hell if Sol could even imagine that actually happening.)

I accept that it's time for a change

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I have no idea why I apparently swapped the tense we were using in this. wh.

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