bemyangel: (Annabel no friends)
Annabel McAlistair ([personal profile] bemyangel) wrote in [community profile] birdwithoutasong2014-08-25 07:32 pm
Entry tags:

All that comforts is not true

Who: Annabel McAlistair ([personal profile] bemyangel) and open
Universe: New Albion
What: TBD

For almost a month after Annabel grants Jasper his wish, the sight of her lab makes her sick to her stomach. It's strange, a feeling more unnatural than anything else she's known, and she spends half her time forcing herself to be in it anyway, cleaning as if she can scrub away all her guilt. She spends the rest of it out on the streets and in the park, trying to rediscover the wonder she knows she'd felt, that she knows had been real. She chases the numbers and equations but she draws back before she solves them, scared that they too will betray her.

Still, even if the smile on her face as she walks through the outdoors has to be faked she does the best job that she can with it, forcing cheerfulness she doesn't feel. It's important to be a success and if she hasn't done anything worthy of that moniker yet, well, Jasper isn't her only hope, just the one that she's pinned the last eight years of her life on.

How disappointed her parents would be if she gave up as a failure, Annabel thinks, and it's that more than anything else that has her keeping up the appearance of contentment, even daring to speak words of greeting at total strangers.
hydrahybrid: (Default)

[personal profile] hydrahybrid 2014-08-27 12:28 pm (UTC)(link)
He's a real, live citizen now. Has some money to his name, is enrolled in school(of the higher education sort), and can even feel the people around him thanks to the flickering and unsteady return of his psi.

He's still more comfortable on the streets and in slums than in the presence of more respectable people. He actually starts when he's greeted by somebody who is... as respectable as Juli, at least. Clean, pretty and - not nearly as happy as she looks.

He shouldn't care. She's not the only unhappy person around. She greeted him, though, looked at instead of through him and that counts for a lot in his world. Not enough to imbue him with manners he doesn't have, but enough to make him care.

"You should be careful out here." ...He's bad at this, okay?
hydrahybrid: (Default)

[personal profile] hydrahybrid 2014-08-30 06:00 pm (UTC)(link)
If Cat knew what he wanted from life... No, that wasn't true. What he wanted was to be seen and to exist. Trying to sort himself beyond that was harder, because even that had seemed so out of reach for so long. If nothing else being in school validated that he was real and existed in the eyes of other people.

Even when they looked at him, caught sight of his eyes and immediately dismissed him.

The surge of her fear caught him off guard, and he frowned and looked around, assessing the street more critically. "No. Not... necessarily." Possibly. Something felt a bit off. "I'm sorry. I didn't meant to - I shouldn't have frightened you."
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[personal profile] hydrahybrid 2014-09-03 05:44 pm (UTC)(link)
"Because it didn't seem like you were paying attention to where you were or what was going on around you. It's not more dangerous than anyplace else, but it's not exactly any safer." He was actually more steady, now, less apologetic and... uncertain. Had his voice back and was back on his mental and emotional feet as it were.
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[personal profile] hydrahybrid 2014-09-10 12:47 am (UTC)(link)
In the land of the blind....

He shook his head and that thought off. It wasn't appropriate here, it was just something that kept circling his head. "Maybe not, but you should be aware that they're there so you don't get taken off guard if something crawls out of them."

...He was a ray of damned sunshine.